While looking at photos from a friend’s recent wedding, I became aware of two feelings—happiness and sadness. I am so happy for my friend who has found the love of his life. But I was also a little sad, remembering my own wedding just a couple years ago and how life’s special moments (and they’re all special—good, bad, and in between) go by so fast. Looking at those pictures made me want to experience the magic of our wedding again. But I can’t. It’s passed.
Upon reflection, I realize I’ve spent a lifetime too often focused on “the next thing” rather than being fully present to the moment I’m in. While eating dinner, I’m thinking about doing the dishes, taking my medication, and prepping coffee for the next morning. While getting a massage, I’m thinking about the errand I want to run on my way home. Even while writing this blog post, I’m thinking about the webinar I want to watch before it expires. Sound familiar?
““Don’t be in such a rush to get where you’re going that you forget to be where you are.””
Why is it so hard to just be in the moment? Because I’m attached to the outcome. I often have a picture in my mind of how I think things should be. And then I’m so focused on reaching that destination and moving onto the next thing that I miss the magic of the moment I’m in.
I recently noticed I have even been attached to the outcome of a coaching session. That made me pause and reconsider how I can do this, presence, better. And then these words came to me …
Be present. Be curious. Go slow.
They’ve become a mantra of sorts. This intention keeps me focused on the moment and not on the outcome. But this practice takes patience. Patience with myself, because presence takes practice and I don’t get it right every time. Patience that the next right thing will reveal itself if I allow myself to be curious in the present moment. And patience with the process because it takes time.
In our culture of instant gratification and achievement, patience is often lacking and it certainly isn’t rewarded. But patience has its own rewards. Allowing myself to be present in the moment is a gift. Not only do I get to experience everything this moment has to offer but I also allow for something even more exquisite to emerge than I had originally planned.
For example, had I not been fully present to the experience of looking at my friend’s wedding photos, I wouldn’t have noticed my feelings. And if I hadn’t been present to my feelings, I wouldn’t have known that writing this post was the next thing I wanted to do.
Here’s the truth of it: The next thing, whatever you think that is, is not as important as the moment you’re in right now, even if it’s difficult or unpleasant. If you pay attention in each moment and have the patience to let life unfold at its own pace, the possibilities are so much greater than the outcome you had previously imagined.