Note: I first shared this post on my social media. Given the heightened stress and expectations, not to mention the increased interactions with other humans this season, I thought you might find these words helpful as you navigate what can be a challenging time of year for many.
My heart is full.
In the past few weeks, I’ve gotten to spend time—in person!—with three of my favorite people. One of whom I haven’t seen in 5 years since we were in life coach training together, and one I just met in person for the first time in our four-year friendship.
The time spent with these women gave me all the warm, fuzzy feels. And the experiences brought up some old, familiar triggers. (I may elaborate on the triggers themselves in a future post.)
I shouldn’t have been surprised and yet I was.
I shouldn’t have been surprised because I was making a conscious effort to show up differently. That’s exactly why these old triggers, which had lain dormant for years, resurfaced.
I can remember incidents from my past when, in the throes of being triggered, I would act out. Think Jekyll and Hyde.
But the work I’ve done this year on revealing and healing some emotional and inherited trauma paid off in spades these last few weeks.
Rather than reacting to the stories my mind was creating around the triggering situations, I simply noticed them.
Being able to witness a trigger in the moment without responding to it was a refreshing change. I was aware of all the feelings the situation was bringing up, but I wasn’t hooked by them.
That’s big.
This experience reminds me of this Viktor Frankl quote:
“Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
That’s exactly what I felt when I didn’t fall victim to these triggers. Freedom.
What I’ve learned in these recent weeks is this …
When I allow for space, I allow awareness and awareness is everything. Because with awareness comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes liberation. And where you’ve achieved liberation, you’ll find peace.
We are now in the midst of one of the most triggering times of the year—the holidays.
If you notice yourself feeling triggered by something or someone, see if you can create some space to witness the situation instead of responding to it in the moment.
By giving yourself space, you not only give yourself the opportunity to respond differently but also to show yourself some compassion.
Space and compassion are two of the best self-care practices I know.